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Healing conflict with awareness, truth and the other speech precepts Dharmachari Gunaketu Kjonstad When the Buddha decided to communicate dharma, he decided on an ancient diagnostic remedy for healing, that of the four noble truths. It is an excellent tool for mediating conflicts within and outside the sangha, in the family and between different groups of people as John McConnell explains in his book Mindful Mediation; A Hand Book for Buddhist Peacemakers (2001). I have been inspired to find new ways to apply these truths in concrete, practical ways. The psychologist Marshall Rosenberg has developed a system of conflict management called Nonviolent Communication (1999) that is used with success worldwide. It builds on the same elements as the four noble truths. In my own training and work as psychotherapist, and leadership training in the Red Cross, I make use of these principles. One key to this training is to look at how the participants actually communicate, and being mindful of the effect on the recipient. To help guide us in this activity we can make use of the Buddha’s advice for skilful communications. It is not enough to speak the truth. It is also advisable to speak in a way that creates harmony, which is useful, and pleasant. My experience of conflicts is that there is a pull either to speak the ‘ brutal truth’ or to avoid saying what needs to be said from fear of upsetting the other. There are ways to both speak the truth about unpleasant events and not contributing to disharmony. In this talk and workshop I would like to demonstrate how we could make use of these principles in a practical way. I will first explain how the four noble truths can be applied to healing conflicts, drawing on the four speech precepts to do so. I will then ask the audience to do some reflection on the theme. Lastly, we will reflect openly around the issues raised in my lecture and from people’s reflections, and explore how we can make use of these tools in our different situations. I thereby make use of the Buddha’s approach to learning: listening/reading, reflecting, and becoming.
Dharmachari Gunaketu Kjønstad |
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